Top 3 Reasons Why You are a Single Asian Man in New York

I know many amazing single Asian men but they are all single and often ask me if I could hook them up with nice girls because they have trouble finding a girlfriend. The strange thing is almost all of them have a good job, good education, great personality but still cannot find a girl. So, here is my opinion, from a girl’s point of view.

Reason # 1: You are too lazy. Guys could be lazy, really. I have heard guys who have no problems getting digits from girls but never bother to call afterwards. Why? Because they are lazy and they don’t feel like calling. I mean seriously, how hard is it to pick up your cell phone, find the contact and dial? Guys need to treat courting with as much effort as applying for a job. Get the job application, apply and follow up. Simply getting the girl’s number and not bother to call is just not the way it works.

Reason #2:You act like a douchebag. You act like you like her but you don’t. You act like a hot shot but you are not. You pretend you don’t care about her but you actually do. You say you are not ready for a relationship but really what you mean is you want to sleep with more than 1 woman. Smart women would absolutely run away if they know you are such a jerk.

Reason #3: You act and or talk weird. This must be our upbringing. Asians are known for their conservativeness and reservation to express feelings. Hence, those scenes in Hollywood movies where fathers show their sons how to pick up girls rarely happen to us. To make matters worse, we spent on average more time studying and cramming and some of us become somewhat socially inept.I have a guy who went to Ivy league once asked me, “Are you on birth control pill?” as a pickup line. That is the opening line for disaster.  And another I Banker guy praised my black and white dress, “Your dress is so colorful!” Or, you tell the girl you just met you want to marry her within first three dates. Yah, that will totally ruin it.

I am sure there are other tons of other GOOD reasons why these Asian men remain single. Be it personality, upbringing, past experience or what not. I just wish all my good single male and female friends could find their ideal mate and could stop going to speed dating or use only to disappoint themselves with more mismatches.


About Athena Chang

Love traveling, dining, and cooking. Digital marketing professional by day, globe-trotting foodie at heart.
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5 Responses to Top 3 Reasons Why You are a Single Asian Man in New York

  1. Jason says:

    I am a douchebag but I am not single 😉

  2. Is it really the guy to blame? its never a fair game when it comes to females. A Female can have multiple Male friends and if a good guy happens to fall for her, the truth is.. she’s probably talking to someone else at the same time. This has happened to me multiple times, i would get close to a girl … and really get to know her, I open up to them.. and i would feel like we were getting closer. But sooner or later.. she starts straying away from me and find someone else. It turns out.. that she would be talking to someone else and i dont know… i alway lose.. THey would tell me im a good guy but.. they prefer a douchebag. because they find that alot more attractive, its the thrill of being with a douchebag, and seeing if she can change him around that makes a girl attracted to a guy. It’s not that easy for a good guy with feelings. Il tell you this, you fall for someone once its never the same again for the next person. But it hurts so much everytime. And you cant do anything but suck it up, and its never the same again. all you can do sometime is wonder if she will ever remember you one day. and even if she’s been with other guys , your willing to bare the pain for the rest of your life .. and still want to be with her. When do people like me start winning?

    Before you start telling us what we are doing wrong. maybe you should get to know me? .. i feel that.. its bullshit.. that a guy has to play this game to get close to a girl. What’s more harsh is.. that you cant be completely honest with a girl, cuz she would freak. And the paradox of all this… is that in order to be good at this game.. you have to be a douchebag that doesnt care about a woman’s feeling.. and have no problem playing around with it. is that a problem with me? or you girls are just too stupid to understand the truth? The real problem? is all this tv drama , gossip girl , fairy tale garbage , people who write blogs like you .. telling me how to get a girl .. what i should be doing, and how to live our lives. am i right? and everyone else is wrong? or am i wrong and everyone else is right? .. well i dont know… but .. it must be alot easier to say that im wrong and what everyone else doing is right… but i know the statistics.. 50% of females dont stay virgins after the age of 17, and divorce is a trend nowadays. Having sex with more than one person, thats a culture now right? .. I got to be different.. i can never do that. So i chose to go to join the service, and im going to do that till the day i die.. or find something else to devote my life to .. and hopefully help others that need my help. Stop being trapped in a box, society created.

    – Rafat Khandaker
    United States Navy

    • Athena Chang says:

      Thanks for the reply and I see your point. I think it is all a game nowadays. Some people choose to play and some don’t. Some play well and some don’t. It is never easy for a guy or a woman to meet the right person at the right time at the right place. I am not blaming the man and as you can see, I have another side of the story about women.

      It is just my observation. And I think you definitely find a higher cause in life than putting energy in this pursuing game.

  3. Simon says:

    Society and culture has a part in this. The mass media in the US has not traditionally been kind to Asians, especially Asian men. They have little to no social, political, or ecomonical standing, although it is slowly improving. The media is owned and controlled by wealthy, affluential Caucasian men who are only concerned with portraying themselves in a positive light while denigrating others. In all forms of media, Asian men are often depicted as nerdy, weak, asexual, socially awkward or just plain uncool. You’ll never see a depiction of a normal, average or maybe even a cool Asian man; rather, an exaggerated stereotype that involves a racist caricature.

    Not all non-Asian women are open or receptive to dating Asian men; they’re not as socially acceptable. On the contrary, it seems that Asian women are more socially acceptable and are attractive and appealing to men of all ethnic backgrounds.

    An interesting observation – it seems like Asian men are often comprised of disproportionate ratios in social settings. It’s common to see 5 Asian men hanging out with 1 Asian woman at a bar or a club. Apparently my friend found this fascinating/amusing/depressing/pathetic and dubbed it the “Golden Ratio.”

    Some Asian women do not date Asian men and vice versa; although I would say it’s skewed towards the former. It’s not to say Asian men aren’t without faults either.

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