A True Story of One Night Stand July 28, 2010

I have heard enough stories and seen enough movies about how guys just want to get one night stand with chicks and flee the scene. However, the story I heard this weekend is quite the opposite. This happened to a friend of mine and it proves that girls now can play the game quite well surprisingly.

My friend invited this girl he was interested in to a birthday party with him. After a whole night of dancing and chatting, he took the girl home. However, he realized he shouldn’t because he would much rather develop something more than just a one night stand with this girl. So, he told the girl he was going to bed. He resisted a night of sex with the girl he was into and I think that was really something.

Later that week, my friend told me the story and asked my opinion because he wanted to know how the girl might think of him now. I mean, seriously, if you lied next to a guy and he just went straight to bed, that might be a big blow on the self-esteem. But he did continue texting and calling her to keep the conversation going and most importantly, to show his interest in more than just sex. I praised him for his rational decision and the will power it took to fight against men’s second brain.

Unfortunately, it turned out that all the girl wanted was one night stand with him. He was shocked and told me he should have just had sex with her instead of holding out. I didn’t even know what to respond! This girl has a pe**s! She just wants to use and abuse my friend! I guess my friend, should have just make the best of the situation and maybe the girl would be more attached and come back for more!?!

I don’t know if this story is going to inspire more men to just have more one-night-stand for the heck of it? I surely hope not because there are still a lot of girls out there looking for more than just flings.

Myths of Online Dating December 29, 2009

I have never tried online dating sites, not because I don’t trust them but because I haven’t had the need to. However, I do know some friends who have been using sites such as Match.com, eHarmony.com and other free versions such as OKCupid.com.

I personally think online dating sites are great creations for busy singles in modern society to meet more eligible candidates or friends. It opens up another outlet for people to meet while they fail to meet people in their busy or sometimes, boring lives. Nevertheless, there is no guarantee you will find a match. What is more interesting is there are myths surrounding online dating sites that I think people should realize before they embrace this new medium.

1. Online Dating is not superficial: Wrong! Online dating is totally superficial. You need to post pictures (preferably more than one) so the users know you are not too ugly, fat, thin, pretty or dorky looking for them. It is true that they also match you based on other important traits BUT most users want to see the pictures to construct an image of you.

2. Online Dating eliminates those crazy nut jobs or weirdos: WRONG! Online dating is a microscope of our society where most people are pretty damn crazy and/or weird! Don’t think filling out 100 questionnaires online could stop thse weirdos from approaching you. I mean, seriously, when they ask you what your body type is? Do you really put obese? or overweight?

3. Online Dating is easier than offline dating: To a degree, I would say yes. It is easier to ask touchy subjects, to ponder what, who and when to write/respond and to ignore people you don’t want to contact.  However, I believe it is harder to tell a person’s true emotion in words if he or she decides not to express through words. Also, what a person writes does not necessarily represent how he/she really acts. More importantly, people sometimes misinterpret words and eventually they got lost in translation.

Despites all these myths, I still believe that online dating provides hopes and promises for people who are seeking love and friendship online. It is with caution, openness, and the right attitude that online dating can possibly deliver your true match.

Do you have a good online dating story to share?

Have Sex in the City October 26, 2009

I was reading New York Magazine and the headline really intrigued me, “The Sexy Diaries – A Critical (But Highly Sympathetic) Reading of New Yorkers’ Sexual Habits and Anxieties”. So I decided to read more. OMG! It is such an interesting experiment by the New York Magazine and you can see how much our technology and social media has impacted sex and sexuality in New York City.Do these tools help or hurt your sex scene? Do they give you more choices?

If you are wondering your iPhone is helping you getting lucky, think again.

http://nymag.com/news/features/sexdiaries/2009/60297/

Top 3 Reasons Why You are a Single Asian Man in New York September 23, 2009

I know many amazing single Asian men but they are all single and often ask me if I could hook them up with nice girls because they have trouble finding a girlfriend. The strange thing is almost all of them have a good job, good education, great personality but still cannot find a girl. So, here is my opinion, from a girl’s point of view.

Reason # 1: You are too lazy. Guys could be lazy, really. I have heard guys who have no problems getting digits from girls but never bother to call afterwards. Why? Because they are lazy and they don’t feel like calling. I mean seriously, how hard is it to pick up your cell phone, find the contact and dial? Guys need to treat courting with as much effort as applying for a job. Get the job application, apply and follow up. Simply getting the girl’s number and not bother to call is just not the way it works.

Reason #2:You act like a douchebag. You act like you like her but you don’t. You act like a hot shot but you are not. You pretend you don’t care about her but you actually do. You say you are not ready for a relationship but really what you mean is you want to sleep with more than 1 woman. Smart women would absolutely run away if they know you are such a jerk.

Reason #3: You act and or talk weird. This must be our upbringing. Asians are known for their conservativeness and reservation to express feelings. Hence, those scenes in Hollywood movies where fathers show their sons how to pick up girls rarely happen to us. To make matters worse, we spent on average more time studying and cramming and some of us become somewhat socially inept.I have a guy who went to Ivy league once asked me, “Are you on birth control pill?” as a pickup line. That is the opening line for disaster.  And another I Banker guy praised my black and white dress, “Your dress is so colorful!” Or, you tell the girl you just met you want to marry her within first three dates. Yah, that will totally ruin it.

I am sure there are other tons of other GOOD reasons why these Asian men remain single. Be it personality, upbringing, past experience or what not. I just wish all my good single male and female friends could find their ideal mate and could stop going to speed dating or use Match.com only to disappoint themselves with more mismatches.

Top 3 Reasons Why You are a Single Asian woman in New York September 23, 2009

This is just my personal opinion and I am open to suggestions. But here is why I think there are a lot of single and looking Asians women in New York City.

Reason #1: YOU are CRAZY! Yes I am an Asian woman too but I have to admit there is some degree of craziness in us. Why? Because we tend to fantasize this perfect man exists on earth and one day we will finally be with him. So even though these women have tons of suitors, they turn them away and wait for the next “supposedly perfect” guy to appear.  Guess what? The perfect dude never shows up and hence these single ladies remain single. Symptoms include ladies complaining about their date’s height, income, look, sense of humor, sense of fashion, sense of direction, wealth, family, dogs, body odor, where they live, what car they drive and their teeth.

Reason #2:  You act so desperately to find a boyfriend/husband that you make yourself look like the last item in Clearance Sale that is either getting SOLD eventually or getting DUMPed. You might not think you are putting out but our Martians already smell it like a feet away. Symptoms include constant calling your date about trivial things such as what brand of TP you should buy, what kind of deodorant you should use, and what TV channel he is currently watching. Also, you appear in every single meetup or networking event and do not miss talking to every guy at the parties.  Guys would think you are acting like you need to sell yourself NOW.

Reason #3: You dress/look like your grandma. Ladies, please. Look at yourself in the mirror before you head out. I have seen beautiful girls out at parties wearing styles from the 70s or cover up every inch of their skin  like she wants to hide some big scars behind those clothes. Or worse, they have damaged hair or untouched toenails. It is unfortunate to say yes, men are shallow. But aren’t we all? So it is important to leave a good impression. You don’t need to dress like a slut but dressing like an old crazy cat lady won’t help either.

So if you are a single asian lady in the house, let me know your thoughts.

Need Ideas for a Date Spot? US Open September 10, 2009

Rafael Nadal vs. Gael Monfils at US Open 3rd Round

Forget about those lounges and high end restaurants. After going to US Open this Tuesday, I officially recommend US Open Stadium the hot spot, where you can cuddle, eat waffle fries, cheer and enjoy a great game with your date or significant other.

First of all, the stadium has a great night view of Citifield and its surroundings. This is totally a great spot to make out and appreciate the scenery.

Besides, one ticket can get you to watch two games so you could easily spend 4+ hours together without breaking banks. I was here to watch Rafael Nadal vs. Monfils and also Williams vs. Pannetta. I got here at 6:30 and the games didn’t end till well past midnight!

Furthermore, September is usually a little chilly at night, especially at stadiums, so you could cuddle and snuggle all you want

Last but not the least, US Open is about 30 minutes away from Manhattan and that means you get more time to spend with your hot date. If you get lucky, you could probably go home with him/her since it ends late!

So if you live in new York, don’t forget to check out this fantastic sports event!If you need more information, go to US Open’s Website.

My Happy Finds – Finding you the next best thing. August 20, 2009

My Happy Finds – Finding you the next best thing. This is one of the blogs I came across that is truly humorous, interesting, resourceful and representative of Asian Americans in NYC! The blogger offers tips and experience on dating, travel, shopping, dining and more in New York City. If you want to know how Asians roll in NYC, this is a must read!

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What would you do when you run into your boyfriend’s ex? August 17, 2009

Girls Fight in the Club

Normally, I would have ignored her and pretended I don’t see her. But this time, I was in a situation where I had to do something different.

This past Friday was my first head-on encounter with the crazy ex. I have only heard stories but good lord it was nothing like personal experience. So here is how it went down. We were meeting some friends at a club and we got there around 11:30. We walked in and my boyfriend immediately saw her sitting in the corner. So we turned around and hung out at another corner. Then, we bumped into some friends and we danced with them for a bit but then they decided to dance near the ex and her crew. So we had to again excuse ourselves and danced in another corner, while we waited for our good friend, Tom to arrive.

The whole night was dancing while trying to avoid being too close to her. Ok let me get this straight. I don’t like her coz she is fugly and I know she is a b**tch. But the main reason we don’t want to be close to her is that she totally wronged my BF and he doesn’t ever want to talk to her ever again. Now, she finally realized that after 1 year and half and wanted a closure from him. Too bad she isn’t not going to get it!

So anyway, Tom finally got into the club around 1AM and we were dancing and trying to find a good spot. So our crew decided to head downstairs but I saw the ex and her boyfriend went downstairs too. So, my boyfriend and I decided to hang around on the 1st floor and would only go meet our friends when it was clear. Then, after a while, I sae the ex and her BF got upstairs and right when we were heading down, she rushed to us and started demanding talking to my boyfriend in a very harsh and high pitch tone.

My boyfriend made it very clear that he doesn’t want to talk to her in any capacity but she started to get violent.  She grabbed him by the collar in one hand and grabbing me by my arm and tried to hold me back by the other hand. I have never ever encountered anything dramatic and violent like this. I mean I thought this only happens on reality TV while those crazy bitches were pulling hair, pushing each other away while cursing. But i was so furious that she didn’t respect his wish and used violence to try to get her voice heard. So I basically pushed her back and told her to go f*** away.

She still wouldn’t let go either of us, still pulling and still pushing. So obviously the whole club saw us. My boyfriend was trying to stay clear because otherwise, people would assume he might have attacked her. Thanks God one of the promoters got in and tried to pull her away. My boyfriend got away for one sec and gave her a big fat finger. LOL and then she came back and started doing the same thing. We were almost at the door this time. The bouncer saw what happened and broke her loose and let us out the door. During this whole drama event, our friends were downstairs and didn’t witness what went on and strangely, her boyfriend was MIA too. They should have all seen what went down and recognize what a freak she is.

Finally, we left the club and called our friends and told them what happened. Everybody was shocked to hear about the drama. Strangely, my boyfriend had a nightmare only a few nights ago about being asked the same question. He told her to go f** herself in his dream! I really wish someone had a video recorder to tape down what happened coz it would have been a good clip on YouTube for you to laugh at!

So next time if I have to go through this again, I wouldn’t be nice, verbally and physically. What would you do if you were me?